


let's play a little game, a game of pretend

by princelogical



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: And Louis tries his best, Depressing, Depression, Gen, Harry is just sad, How Do I Tag, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Suicide, kind of?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-31
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-07-28 08:57:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7634008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princelogical/pseuds/princelogical
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything is a-okay and Louis swears upon everything he loves that it's true. <br/>But it's really not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	let's play a little game, a game of pretend

It's best to pretend not to notice when things get rough. When Harry's stopped smiling. When he's stopped talking as much. When you hear him in the shower choking on the freezing water.

It's just best to keep quiet.

And that's what I do. I make him laugh. I pretend everything is a-okay, because it _is_ ; it has to be. I take him to stupid cheap pizza restaurants and we go ice-skating and on stupid double dates with girls we couldn’t care any less about.

When we’re on stage and the crowd’s screams are so _loud_ and we’re so happy and _proud_ , but Harry’s sad and he doesn’t know _why_ we pretend it’s fine. We don’t notice anyway, so we know it’s all okay.

When we’re up just a little too late and Harry’s in the mood to talk about sad stuff- rubbish topics anyway. I pretend to make jokes and glaze over every issue known to man.

It’s my job to be oblivious- Liam’s the mother hen who worries over you to death, Niall’s the casual guy you call when you need a friend and a pizza-binge and Zayn’s the guy you spill your guts to because there is just _something_ about him that makes it feel okay. I’m the oblivious one who laughs and takes nothing seriously.

But you can’t pretend anymore when Harry’s in the hospital. When he’s gasping, unable to breathe. When foam froths at his mouth and blood spills from his nose. When all you hear is faint beeping and Zayn’s grounding hand just a little too tight on your shoulder. When the doctor says they did all they could, but they must not have; not if he’s _dead_.

Because you really can’t pretend anymore. Not when the light shines on the entire bloody problem and shows all you could have done. I could have done _something_ , I could have tried _harder_.

But I didn’t. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all like this little mess... Please let me know what you thought.


End file.
